you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize