it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Drake has all the answers
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Who died my cat blue again?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
