in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
