How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
