I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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Lo siento on account of my penis...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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