You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
