you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
