you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
