so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
