Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
