So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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