goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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