You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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