Say something about gay babies.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
