This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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