we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
