New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
