Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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