Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
