Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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