I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
