he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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