My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize