How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
