dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
