we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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