whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
