yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
