in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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