my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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