so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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