so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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