He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
