not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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