a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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