Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We have started to decorate penises.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
