I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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