Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
