We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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