Jerry, you need to find god
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
