I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's blow job season.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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