A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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