Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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