Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
