How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize