Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
