Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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