Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
