remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
