just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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