Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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