There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
