My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dude. I can hear the air.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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