what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize