found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
