she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
