im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
