i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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