you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can I color on your dick again?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
