i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
