You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
