You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
