Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
