I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
